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Essential Oils and Intimacy


When wanting to spice up the bedroom, there are no quick fixes. But there are things we can do to pave the path to some cuddly time.

An aphrodisiac is defined as a substance that enhances or stimulates passion and sexual desire. There is no essential oil, herb, food, chemical or other substance that will miraculously arouse someone who has no desire to become aroused.

Drugs like Viagra are not aphrodisiacs. They simply ensure that a man's system functions as it should if he so desires to be intimate, but these drugs have nothing to do with the emotional connection between two people.

Individuals that are physically, mentally or emotionally exhausted, under stress, nutritionally unhealthy, depressed, anxious or physically ill may have a more difficult time engaging in and enjoying intimacy.

Substances, including essential oils, that are considered aphrodisiacs are substances that can help relieve the physical, psychological or emotional ailments that can interfere with sexual desire or arousal. For example, an aphrodisiac may assist with one or more of the following:

  • Ease Physical ailments

  • Reduce Stress

  • Calm Anxiety

  • Energize the Body and Mind

  • Enhance and Uplift Mood

  • Ease Depression and Sadness

  • Appeal to the Senses

Essential Oil ‘Aphrodisiacs’

Remember that the definition of an aphrodisiac is a substance that enhances or helps stimulate passion and sexual arousal. Any essential oil that helps ease your stress or that you find sensually stimulating can act as an aphrodisiac for you. I’ve chosen a few but you may find others that are more appealing to your own senses.

Jasmine, In Ayurvedic medicine, J. officinale has been used as an antidepressant and sedative. (1)

It enhances self-confidence and regulate your mood, help you stay alert, reduce your anxiety, and could help your self-confidence and increases attentiveness. (2)

Ylang, Ylang Ylang has a balancing effect, where blood pressure and heart rate decrease but attentiveness and alertness increase (3).

It has also been shown that topical application can elicit feelings of relaxation and calmness (4)

Along with these beautiful flowers, we can add a citrus such as Bergamot. Bergamot is one of the most supportive oils for emotions and most often used in the fragrance industry. It’s relaxing, restorative, calming, emotionally uplifting, and helps reduce tension and insomnia.

You can spice up your blends with spicy essential oils but be sure to use them sparingly and cautiously as most spicy oils can be irritants to the skin. They can include cinnamon, clove bud or ginger. The citrus will calm the spicy out a bit and give it a beautiful balance.

If you choose a mint which also can go nicely, I suggest Spearmint since it is light and refreshing and not as “heavy” of a mint as Peppermint is.


In addition, I would absolutely look at a few conifer oils such as cypress, various firs and the refreshing aroma of Scotch pine, Hemlock, Engelman spruce. Lastly, consider the rich, deep sensual aromas of Patchouli, Sandalwood and Vetiver, especially in the gentleman’s blends.

Last, any blends you create will have therapeutic actions and part of these actions are, of course, tied to the aroma as mentioned above. When I’m blending for the aroma specifically, I blend by notes. The notes of oils are the evaporation rates. Some evaporate quicker than others. For example, citrus oils are considered “top” notes and evaporate the quickest. Next is your middle notes and your florals, and spices fall under this category. And last is the “base” notes and these take the longest to evaporate. Woods, bark, root oils and resins are base notes, although that is not always the case.


When blending for fragrance, I use at least one oil from each category. It’s fun and as your top note starts to slowly go through the evaporation process, your aroma will make a very subtle change over time. Blend with a skin friendly carrier oil or unscented oil. See our post on carrier oils for their actions and benefits.

A Few Blends to Consider

  • 2 Jasmine absolute Jasminum grandiflorum

  • 8 Ho Wood Cinnamomun camphora ct linalol

  • 2 Ylang Ylang Cananga odorata var. genuina


  • 2 drops Jasmine absolute Jasminum grandiflorum

  • 5 drops Cedarwood Juniperus virginiana

  • 2 drops Rose otto Rosa damascena

  • 3 drops Clary Sage Salvia sclarea


  • 0.5 ml Jasmine Jasminum grandiflorum

  • 6 ml Bergamot Citrus Bergamia

  • 2 ml Lime Citrus aurantifolia

  • 2 ml Sweet Orange Citrus sinensis

  • 3 drops Sweet Orange Citrus sinensis

  • 2 drops Frankincense Boswellia carterii

  • 1 drop Rosemary Rosmarinus officinalis ct. 1,8 cineole

  • 1 drop Lemongrass Cymbopogon citratus

  • 2 drops Jasmine Absolute Jasminum grandiflorum


  • 7 drops Fragonia Agonis Fragrans

  • 5 drops Bergamot Citrus Bergamia

  • 2 drops Sandalwood Santalum album

Taking a few steps can lead couples to a happier, healthier intimate relationship. Connection of the mind, body and soul can lead to a deeper connection between two people. This may lead you to intimacy as you've not experienced before. Happy cuddling. Please leave your comments and let me know what you think. I appreciate it! Rehne


References and Resources:

  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5241490/

  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20184043

  3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3836517/)

  4. https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/4890/3b9799af700b16cbb3444d9c070e10544d59.pdf).

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